Christmas Morn

Shhh...everyone else is still sleeping, but I just had to say,

"Welcome, Christ child! Thank You for coming to a little manger made from wood that You created. Thank You for coming to a manger that would lead You to a cross - made from wood that You created. Thank You for leaving a throne where You heard the praises of angels crying, 'Holy, Holy, Holy' and coming to hear the oohs and aahs of some amazed shepherds. Thank You for coming as a sweet little baby so that You could become my conquering King.
Thank You for turning the darkness of this heart into a light to shine for You.
This heart is all I have to give You this Christmas morn. Thank You for saying it is enough. Please be blessed by my simple adoration. Give me a Mary heart in all situations - Luke 1:38 'Be it unto me according to Your word.'
And I ask you this morning for the peace and comfort that You came to give in double portion for those who have a new empty place at their Christmas celebration this year.
I praise You, Lord. 'For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.' Isaiah 9:6 I love that a child was born, but that the Son was given. You have always been and will forever be!! I kneel in humble awe of You. - Merry Christmas to my Christ. Amen"

Time passes, things change, children grow...but He hasn't

A 20 year tradition is over. I've literally cried over this. I know I'm such a sap, but Santa has visited my house for 20 years!! I've been thinking that it was over, but I have new thought- more on that later.

So earlier I was throwing myself one world-class size pity party. Santa not coming. How can this be? He has come every Christmas for 20 years. (I know I'm so stinking old and my girls are too far apart, but hey, it wasn't MY plan!) So in the midst of my little meltdown of feeling sorry for myself, I started thinking about the whole reason we celebrate Christmas and then I felt very ashamed...So I began to talk to the Lord about my selfishness and sorry attitude and how horrible I was to have ever celebrated the season with anything other than Christ, but I didn't get very far. As we were talking, just the two of us in the Mom Mobile - I had one foot over the line into self-bashing mode- He helped me realize that it was OKAY to be sad about Santa- that it was okay to mourn the passing of childhood and the magic of it - and that I haven't pushed Him out of the season or the celebration. Before it was over, He had helped me to realize that He has become such a part of my everyday life that there is rarely ANYTHING that He does not have a major role in. WHOA! I mean seriously, WHOA!! This isn't the same girl of 24 trying to create magic for my little one. I know Truth and Truth has set me free. Pity turned to praise pretty darn quick. He is amazing. Truly the one who brings comfort in sorrow. He encouraged me and brought me the peace that He came to give so long ago. He is my great High Priest, and He is still my Emmanuel.

So as for Santa. Well, new traditions may start, but he is still coming to my house. Those who don't believe, won't receive! Simple as that. No more talk of him not being real. He may not be who McKenna and Chelsea thought he was, but the love and magic remains in the heart of the one who made that magic happen for them for all these years. And besides, my sweet Jesus told me it was okay. A little magic and a whole lot of praise - I think it is the perfect formula for a great Christmas!

Christmas Survey -
I answered this on the Living Proof Ministry's blog the other day and thought I would repost here. Leave me a comment and answer the survey and then you can copy and paste it into your blog and see what your friends say. Kind of fun!


What is your...?
1. Preference in Christmas tree? Fresh or Fake?
Fresh is my preference, but fake is my reality
2. Favorite Ornament - this one is exceptionally hard for me - HUGE collection, and I have a new one from my sweet Siesta Malinda that I will forever love and cherish, but I think if I had to pick one it would be one of my newer ones - of Linus standing on the stage...push the button...he says, "lights, please." The light comes on the stage and he tells Charlie Brown what Christmas is all about.
3. Favorite Christmas Song - Easy one...My man singing the Dennis Jernigan song, "Hallelujah! Christ Is Born"...I think seeing him sing it in church was the first time I felt my heart in my throat over that guy! Crying over the reality of my Jesus and weak-kneed over my guy...honestly, does it get any better?
4. Favorite Tradition - Making the ugliest Christmas cookies you have ever seen with my girls. Delicious...but hideously ugly. What's up with all that dough spreading when you bake anyway? Or maybe opening one present on Christmas Eve...it is a tradition my mother always had with us. I can't wait to open a Heavenly present with her someday -what joy it will be!
5. Gift Received - too many to name...probably ALL of them the first year Jimmy and I were married. I had never had so many before...I felt VERY special!
6. Favorite Meal - Ham, Turkey, Dressing, Mashed Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes, Cranberry sauce, Green-Bean casserole/Broccoli-Rice casserole Broccoli & Cauliflower salad..Oh, and the cranberry sauce...canned, please. Pleeaassee do NOT make me eat a real cranberry. ewwww...
7. Favorite Christmas Cookie - Those really ugly ones I mentioned.
8. Favorite Place to Be - Home on Christmas morning with the girls and Jimmy.
9. Favorite Christmas Memory - The magic in McKenna's face when she was younger and "heard" Santa and the reindeer on the roof, thanks to my nieces and Jimmy.
10. Favorite Christmas Movie - Tie-Elf for fun, Miracle on 34th Street (new one) for sentiment.

SHHHHH...It's a secret!!

Here is the one big surprise I was able to pull off for my man this year. We have never done a picture with all of his girls, so we snuck off to do this. Within a week or two we found out our precious Gracie has cancer so our very sweet friend Toby came to our house, took some shots of her and cropped her in. And he captured McKenna perfectly!! Aren't my sweet girls pretty? I know I'm biased!!

The watermark is still on these proofs, but you get the idea.

Oh... and it was after we finished this shenanigan that the girls snuck back out to Toby's and had more done!!

I had him change the Scripture on this one to Ruth 1:16

Chelsea hates this one...Silly girl...she looks like a model!

Christmas Lies...we go way beyond secrets!!

Is this picture not adorable? My girls at their silly, funny best!! But there is a story...

The other night I am quite sure I was trapped in a bad Abbott and Costello routine. I had to go to Wichita Falls to do a few errands, and so McKenna stayed with her sister. Good...I could continue the Wii hunt that I have been on. And quite by accident - VICTORY!!! I found one! I sent Chelsea a text and told her so we could both celebrate.

I had also picked up a cobbler to fix for my board meeting the next day, so when I picked McKenna up I said I needed to drop it off at the office. She immediately said, "I'll do it for you." Now I'm not saying my child is not sweet and helpful, but the thought of her wanting to unlock my office and walk into a dark building just didn't make a whole lot of sense. And then, "AHA" - I think to myself..."that little rat knows there is a Wii in the back of this van and she wants to get a look at it!!" So I immediately said that I would do it; that it was sooo cold and windy I didn't want her out in the night air with her cold. So then she asked, "Are you just going to take it straight to the kitchen and come right back out?" Yes, I assure her...then feeling somewhat remorseful for my previous bad thoughts, I added, "Are you afraid to stay out here by yourself?" She tells me she is a little, but that she'll be okay. She then asks for my cell phone...I assume to play games. Then, another "AHA" she wanted me to stay in the office for a second so she can get a glimpse in the back of the van before I come out.

Well...I'll just show her...I pick up the cobbler which I had slid into one of those giant freezer bags that you buy to keep things cold in...and then I picked up the bag with the Wii and hid it behind it then carried them both in. I was feeling pretty smug when I unlocked the door then hooked a right into my office instead of going straight to the kitchen. I drop the Wii just inside my door, then out of habit flip the light on, then head to the kitchen. McKenna in the meantime has seen my office light come on. When I walk back into my office to turn the light off I see four little pictures taped to my computer screen. Oh my goodness! Pictures of my girls! I get a little closer look, but then realize that she would see the light in my office and get suspicious. As I look toward the front door of the building, sure enough, I see her headed for the door. AAAGGGGHHHH!!! I have to get the Wii covered up!!!! So I hurry and go grab the freezer bag and throw that over the Wii. When she gets inside the door she made a comment about me seeing the picture so she was going to go ahead and give me one of my Christmas presents and takes me to my secretary's desk...who apparently had been in cahoots with the girls to give me a surprise...It just wasn't supposed to happen until the next morning....That is the picture posted above. She had been in a panic out in the van calling her sister in near hysterics because I was about to see the surprise. Tooo stinkin' funny, ya'll. Oh, and one other little tidbit...that picture was taken after the girls and I had snuck out to have pictures taken for Jimmy for Christmas. We had to lie then, too. See what I mean...we go way beyond secrets!

Needless to say I ADORE the picture! But between her trying to hide the picture and me trying to hide the Wii...Who's on first!?

Thanksgiving?

Okay, I have a confession. I haven't been very thankful lately...and I've been in a pretty crummy mood. I could go into all the reasons why life has been a little stinky lately, but that really isn't the point. Honestly, I've done that enough. And that dirty dog, the devil, has been replaying it all for me again and again. Sorry sucker. He's been stealing my joy. No wonder Scripture calls him a thief and a liar.

So, this morning, Thanksgiving morn, I woke up and spent time being grateful to the Giver of all good gifts. First I confessed to my Sweet Savior that I have not been looking much like Him lately, especially on the inside...even if I tried to make the outside look and act right. I'm glad He sees that yucky stuff on the inside, too, though. I didn't have to worry about Him being surprised or shocked when I told Him what a jerk I've been lately. Not with what came out of my mouth, but with the running dialogue in my head.

Then, I thanked Him one by one for my sweet blessings.

For sisters- for Kitty, Penny and Amy - all unique, all special, all mine. And praise God, we are all still here. Seems we've suffered too much loss in our lives the last few years, so I thanked Him for keeping my dad, my step mom, my sisters and our families in tact for the holidays.

For jobs - I'm just grateful that Jimmy and I know that we will be getting paychecks. Not everyone has that assurance, so I prayed for those who don't.

For my country - I thanked Him for allowing me to live in a country where His Word can still be taught and for those who defend it. For young men like Cody Hanson and Mike Brown and the countless others like them who sacrifice their Thanksgiving with family so that we can all celebrate our blessings and our freedom, and so that others might know the same privilege.

For my staff - One by one, name by name, family by family. Each one is precious to me...and make such a difference in the lives of children. I prayed blessings on them and expressed my gratitude for the humbling opportunity to serve them.

For my board - Eight great guys with families and lives outside of the schools they serve. I prayed for each of their families and thanked God for the humbling experience of working along side them and learning so much from them.

For my home - small by any standard, but also cozy and easier to clean than if it were doubled in size! I thanked Him for comfortable surroundings, sentimental mementos, irreplaceable memories.

For my in-laws- A mother and father, sister and nieces, who are as dear to me as if we shared the same blood. So grateful for those precious relationships. I thanked Him for allowing me this incredible privilege and blessing.

For my church, our youth, our ladies so faithful to studying His Word - My brothers and sisters in Christ who have supported me through some of my darkest times and celebrated with me in times of joy. I cannot imagine who I would be without that body of believers. Who would have ever thought God could use this wretch in a shared ministry with my husband? Wow. I thanked Him for using His church to change my life and for allowing me to serve alongside so many that look like Him to me.

For friends - Too many to name here, but in particular, Melissa who is doing so much in service to children, Gina who has been with me through thick and thin for over 30 years, Diana - my listening and advising mentor, Casey - the one I desire to mentor in some small way, who I laugh with and grow with. These three dear ones probably know more of my junk than they really want to, and I thanked God that they love me anyway and I prayed for each of them in their unique situations.

For my beautiful girls - I thanked Him for choosing - of all the women of the world - to be Chelsea and McKenna's Mom. I thanked Him for guidance, for laughter, for tender moments, for love that is beyond me, for two distinct individuals with such unique attributes and characteristics and a bond that runs so deep.

For my husband - I thanked Him for writing a love story beyond this princess's dreams and for allowing Jimmy and I to be the exclamation point at the end of the story!!!...for giving me a spiritual leader for my girls and I, for a man who appreciates and loves me - and isn't afraid or ashamed to show it, for a guy that makes me laugh, and a love that continues to grow. Oh, and I thanked Him that Jimmy is really good with Christmas lights and lawn work - I know that made Him smile.

As you can imagine, by the time I went through that and many other things, like Siesta and blogworld friends, an infallible Word that sustains me, venti peppermint mochas, and learning from the likes of Beth Moore and Max Lucado, and on and on and on, I realized a couple of things. I was sorrier than before that I had been having such a bad attitude, but I was also ticked off that I had allowed Satan to steal my joy...and my strength.

So the Word for the day...Nehemiah 8:10 "Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

Sitting in an airport...

I'm sitting in airport in San Antonio, TX. It is kind of cool because there is a long walkway/hallway that goes from security check in to the gates and there are rocking chairs along the walls. Nice respite from the yucky chairs at the gate.

I'm always fascinated when I fly. I love to people watch and in this high tech age in which we live it is always interesting to overhear other cell phone conversations. No I'm not eavesdropping...they just talk loud. So far today, I've overheard someone giving a directive to an office manager to drop the hammer on a receptionist who is really botching things up; someone making a business appointment with "Joe Don" Somethingorother (must be a Southern boy, don't ya think!?); a lady heading to Iraq - not military, but private contractor of some kind; a mom connecting with her child - oh, that was me - never mind that one; ANOTHER mom checking in with her babysitter; and the list goes on. Nothing earth shattering or even very funny or interesting for that matter, but I have watched literally hundreds of people either coming or going and I think, "Wow. Where are ALL these people going?" It's kind of like when I take off and am stuck in traffic or at a mall with a bajillion people and I think, "Don't you people ever WORK?" Then I realize I'm not either. Oops. Still strange though. Well, have to go board now. I have more conversations to overhear!

Keeping it Real

I was recently hit square between the eyes with an accusation that hasn't come my way in a very long time...But it still makes me sick at my stomach, and hot - you know the "even my ears are hot" hot. The words weren't really not slung, but the concept was heavy in the air. "YOU ARE A FAKE." Oh, I had plenty to say, plenty to use to defend myself against the accusations of being unsupportive, unkind, unprofessional. But the defense would have been given somewhat in a sound proof booth because the accuser had long since stopped listening. And the outcome of the situation would have stayed the same. So why give it a second thought?

Why not just let it roll off my back? That is what my colleagues in similar positions would advise me to do I feel sure. Why not just consider the words in context of the situation and in relation to the history of this person? Well, because SHE really wasn't the issue. The issue with her was resolved.

The reason I couldn't just "blow it off"? It's because it is one of my greatest fears. Again, not really in the context of the situation in which it was accused, but rather as a general statement of life. Duplicity. Hypocrisy. Fake. Imposter. Being one thing one place and a different thing somewhere else. Dear God, please don't let it be so.

If there is one thing I crave desperately is consistency. I want to model for my precious daughters what it is to be a woman of God in every aspect of their lives. If I am not who I claim to be with them then I might as well not be at all...yes, at all. Motherhood is such an incredibly challenging role, isn't it? I think my sweet girls can live with me failing. They know I'm human. But what if I am a Godly woman in the outside world, but then I close my front door and become someone else. What we have is a potential foothold, a sin. Can you say 'trainwreck'?

So I am allowing some time for some reflection and correction if needed. I'm so grateful to serve a God who doesn't require us to have it all together to come to the foot of the Cross. I want to have a teachable heart and even in opposition be open to hear from the Holy Spirit.


One of the things the Lord has directed me to is one of my all-time favorite poems, IF by Rudyard Kipling. I hope it encourages you. Keeping it real-

What a day! God has been so very good...not that He ever ISN'T - It's just that today I desperately needed His encouragement. Did you read that wrenching entry at about 4 o'clock this morning? I woke up at 1:30. So, if this entry makes NO sense...you will understand why! Anyway, not only was I awake, I was desperate. I have been listening/watching too much media. I guess I got caught up in all the campaign hype. And in reality, this is definitely serious business. But, seriously, I think I turned into Chicken Little in the middle of the night.



The previous entry was just me being raw before the Lord. But let me share with you how He answered my prayers for encouragement and strength.

All day, He spoke encouragement and peace into my spirit. Innumerable songs praised His Sovereignty. When I began to dwell on the thoughts that disturb me so about this election (no-not race or economics, but the things that clearly fly in the face of God's Word), I would pray and feel the peace of His immediate presence.
"Darlin', I'm still on My throne, you know." "
"Guess what? I'm not surprised, nor am I worried."
"You need to let Me be God. Okay, Darlin'?"
"This is just one event, darlin', on a Kingdom calendar you can't see...But it's okay. I see it. I even planned it."
"I know you are afraid. But I'm here with you...I promise."
"I am the Ancient of Days. ; ) I KNOW how everyone voted...and the promptings of their hearts that you don't know."
"Darlin', you are my child. Do you think I would let harm come to you? Let's do a little review, sweet girl." And we did.

(Did you notice how often He calls me darlin'? He is so tender. )


Do you get the point of that constant dialogue? He was working overtime with me today. And somehow in the midst of keeping the sun in the sky and the earth on its axis, He spent A LOT of time with me today. I know this is very me focused, but that's exactly what I needed today from Him. I hope you have those days, too. Aren't they sweet? When even though it's a busy day with all of life's distractions, He is RIGHT THERE every time you turn around. May you find peace today, my precious child of God. You are going to be okay. No matter what happens in this election. I know. I know you will be more than just okay...Shhh...don't tell, but I've read the last chapter. AND...I've spent some time with the Author. He told me how it all ends. It's good, trust me.

Prayer for our Nation

Dearest Father,
I know it is no accident that I am up at 3 a.m. on election day. My heart is heavy, Father, and You know it is because I am listening to the cacophony of the media regarding this historic election day. How can this be? This "Nation under God"? How can we seem so ready to plunge down a path so contrary to Your Word, Your teachings, Your Love? God, I don't feel very eloquent or humorous or cute right now. Just desperate. When it all comes down, God, may You have the victory this day.

Father, I confess to You my own sin of selfishness in times of abundance and in times of scarcity. Help me, Father, to understand my duty to serve those less fortunate than I. Help me to fulfill that role rather than expecting my governement to do that. Change me, Father, again and again to become more like the precious Christ. Forgive me for not being bolder in my proclamation that we must cling to You and You alone. I am but one small voice crying out for forgiveness for this nation, God, but I know You hear all the others who join with me in saying that all life is a gift from You and only You. Forgive us for denying that truth with our treatment of the unborn.

I know others, even those who are my brothers and sisters in Christ do not agree with me. May You have mercy on them and reveal Your truth to them. I remember, Father, being able to defend such an unrighteous act. Thank You for showing me the Truth. Please continue to fill me with Your truth and humility in understanding that we aren't all on the same timetable of growth. And, Father, allow me eyes to see every situation, every issue through Your eyes, not my own. For even in these things that I believe You have impressed upon my heart, God, if I am wrong, show me.

Lord God, I pray for the voters of this nation who are seeking hope in promises of men rather than the truth of Your Word. I pray Your blessings on this land and on her leaders...whomever they may be at the end of this day, not because we are deserving, but because we need You so incredibly. May Your Spirit fall afresh today. God, You are mighty to save. Come, have Your way this day so that Your victory can be proclaimed and all glory given to You.

Thank You , Father, for Your presence, for meeting me here, in my time of need. I needed an infusion of courage and hope. Thank You for hearing my cry and renewing my hope and strength once more. I will wait upon You , my Sovereign King. Thank You, thank You. I love You.
In the Most Precious Name of my Jesus,
Amen