And so it begins...where did I leave my galoshes???

Today was the first of at least a bajillion...no, make that two bajillion after-school practices for McKenna. She started the 7th grade yesterday and so volleyball practice follows shortly after!!

I can't even believe it. My baby is 12...oh, and the late bloomer...she may be blossoming. Suddenly it is important to fix hair and make up. Honestly, I don't know how I feel about that. Excited - my baby girl is growing up!! Sad - My baby girl is growing up!! Worried - My baby girl is growing up!!

Amazing how one small sliver of time can bring out a tidal wave of emotion. Like the day she was born, her infancy, preschool, her first day of kindergarten, her salvation and baptism... I think God gives us such capacity for emotion because He knows full well that the world will offer us an inadequate umbrella which of course blows broken, to deal with such a tidal wave. He knows that the tidal wave we deal with when viewed in succession with the other tidal waves of life actually equal a tsunami. And the world offers us a little piece of plastic held on a stick with spokes...oh, and by the way...that umbrella of the world...ummm...yea, a lightening rod.

And yet, He steps in and calls it all, "Good," and works it all to our good, and as if that weren't enough He offers us a peace and calm regardless of the 'storm'. And, boy, are there variations of a storm in this thing we do called life. The somewhat eerie, haunting, yet welcome snow storm...like those times when we just want to 'hole up' somewhere, find a warm place and not venture out - makes me think of when I brought my girls home from the hospital...sweet and a little scary. The raging thunderstorm of lightning, torrential rain and wind...like those times of raising a teenager when you are sure the storm has snatched your kid away and has swept a stranger into their bedroom!! The ravaging hurricanes and tornadoes when things are ripped from the fabric of your life...a divorce, a death, a defining detrimental decision. And yes, even in the sweet soothing showers of light rain followed by the rainbow...the kind that makes certain 'flowers' bloom like a beautiful, innocent child coming into her own...Yes, we need some peace that He offers...or at least I do, because I know that the first of two bajillion moments will literally blow by so quickly like the leaves in a sharp autumn wind that I will wish I had reached out and snatched a few from the air just to hold in my hands, examine and, well, cherish for a while. Because with Him, I can see it all as 'good'.

They've migrated...

Through an unexpected turn of events, I am currently listening to four very silly girls laugh, discuss, and argue (just a bit) while they play Apples to Apples. We are celebrating McKenna's birthday which was actually last Wednesday, but spring break offered the perfect opportunity for a sleepover. The only problem - it wasn't supposed to be HERE!!! My sister had planned the party and all the girls were supposed to be at her house. However, on Sunday, she stepped off the porch and broke her ankle. Coward...I think she did it on purpose. (Just kidding. But I must admit my suspicion. She has never been much on large crowds of kids.)

So anyhoo...she had a little day of fun scheduled for them. A trip to the local salon for finger and toe nail painting, getting their hair done and a little make-up applied. So we did that yesterday afternoon. Great fun! Then we came back to my house and they have sufficiently enternained themselves without anyone getting their feelings hurt, nothing being broken, no major arguments, and not even any tv/dvd watching (which I even rented some dvds for...just in case).

We have two 6th graders, a 5th grader, and a 4th grader. They are all sweet girls and so far...so good.

As for McKenna ~ she is a puzzle for me. She is so different from her sister, and honestly, from so many 'little' girls I have watched grow up. I think what makes it so unusual is her maintenance of her innocence. She is now 12 years old and in junior high in a small town. Tough age - usually the age where you really aren't happy with just being that age - you know, where they really want to be older, and certainly don't want anything to do with anything associated with 'little girl'. McKenna, however, seems to be pretty happy being 12. She doesn't ask or seek to do, act, or dress, like older girls. There are things she wants to do that are age appropriate, and then there are things that she really doesn't mind being seen as a 'little' girl. I thought yesterday as I watched two girls - 8th graders- come into the salon to tan, "I wonder how many of her 6th grade friends would die before being seen as 'playing' with the hair and make-up party." Certainly not all of them, put several names came to mind of girls who would either make fun of it or wouldn't be caught dead doing it. It really makes me sad. Girls are pushed to grow up so quickly...and not in very healthy ways.

So today, as I hear my "baby" - who isn't really a baby!- laugh and giggle with her friends - with a laugh that is incredibly contagious. Hurray for her. And hurray for all the young ladies who are like her - okay with just being the age they are.

On her 20th birthday...

My precious Chelsea is turning 20 in a couple of days. AMAZING. Both because the time has flown and because she simply is...amazing that is. I was beyond thrilled when I found out I was pregnant, and I must say it has been thrilling ever since. Not always easy or joyful, but definitely thrilling! So this entry is really for her - in her honor and to make sure she has all of this written down in some form!

Pregnancy was easy and exciting except for the morning sickness which was actually morning, noon and night nausea, but no throwing up. I've actually probably never felt better than when I was pregnant with Chelsea. Although it was during that time that I found out what heart burn was- I thought I was having some sort of attack, like maybe of the heart. Oh so young and dumb - Y&D syndrome.

When she finally came it took a little over 17 hours for her to make her actual arrival...two weeks early. I'll never forget the moment they laid her on my stomach and in all my vanity, through the tears I said, "Oh, Chelsea, you have hair!!" It has been a dominant topic in our conversations ever since. Along with all things girly. What fun to have a daughter. (Before you think me too shallow with her hair being the first thing noticed, remember that I had seen a sonogram showing all her fingers and toes, so I didn't need to count.)

And how wise of God to give me girls. I don't know what I would have done with a boy. I have had a BLAST being their mom!! As for her 'growing up years', in many ways Chels and I were sort of on our own. Her dad and I were married, but he was gone - a lot- so she and I spent so much time together. She was a beautiful, funny, and bright child. For example...Chelsea was 7 when I finally got pregnant with McKenna. One day she walks in as I'm getting dressed - this is late in the pregancy and I'm wearing one of those oh-so-feminine-NOT maternity bras. She wrinkles up her face and asks, "Why are you wearing THAT?" As I start to explain, she pipes in and fills in the blanks about making milk for the baby, boobies get bigger, yadda, yadda. Then she looks up at me and says, in all seriousness. "But, Mom. Your boobies didn't need to get ANY bigger." Thanks, kid. This would be the same child who when being potty-trained busted into the bathroom as I was getting out of the shower. Sitting on the potty, she looks up at me and says, "Hey, mommy. Your boobies are big. Big as your head." Sweet darlin' child. Ugh. I'm sure it was a perspective thing. She was sitting; I was standing. HAD to be perspective. Oh, whatever. She has learned a little tact since then, but don't ask her if you don't really want to know!!

Teen years were tough, as they are for so many, and even now, at 20, we have our moments. I think one of the primary problems is that when you devote yourself to loving in someone's best interest, it is tough to let them not always love themselves in their own best interest. In other words, letting life and their own choices bounce them around is tough to watch. It's one of the toughest things about being a mom. And although I watch my heart walk around outside of my body everyday in the form of two lovely daughters, I wouldn't take it back for anything. They are so worth it.

So as my oldest leaves the teen years behind, I am blessed to know that I did the best I could to lay a firm foundation...and on most days and in most ways, she is choosing to stand on it. She is fiesty, funny, oh-so fashionable, and above all she is my beloved first born. I can't wait to see what her life holds, and am fully prepared to celebrate it with her and walk the journey with her. It has been evident since her earliest years that God has a plan for her. What fun to watch it unfold and how humbly blessed I am to be her mom. Thank You, Sweet Jesus, for the privilege.

Time passes, things change, children grow...but He hasn't

A 20 year tradition is over. I've literally cried over this. I know I'm such a sap, but Santa has visited my house for 20 years!! I've been thinking that it was over, but I have new thought- more on that later.

So earlier I was throwing myself one world-class size pity party. Santa not coming. How can this be? He has come every Christmas for 20 years. (I know I'm so stinking old and my girls are too far apart, but hey, it wasn't MY plan!) So in the midst of my little meltdown of feeling sorry for myself, I started thinking about the whole reason we celebrate Christmas and then I felt very ashamed...So I began to talk to the Lord about my selfishness and sorry attitude and how horrible I was to have ever celebrated the season with anything other than Christ, but I didn't get very far. As we were talking, just the two of us in the Mom Mobile - I had one foot over the line into self-bashing mode- He helped me realize that it was OKAY to be sad about Santa- that it was okay to mourn the passing of childhood and the magic of it - and that I haven't pushed Him out of the season or the celebration. Before it was over, He had helped me to realize that He has become such a part of my everyday life that there is rarely ANYTHING that He does not have a major role in. WHOA! I mean seriously, WHOA!! This isn't the same girl of 24 trying to create magic for my little one. I know Truth and Truth has set me free. Pity turned to praise pretty darn quick. He is amazing. Truly the one who brings comfort in sorrow. He encouraged me and brought me the peace that He came to give so long ago. He is my great High Priest, and He is still my Emmanuel.

So as for Santa. Well, new traditions may start, but he is still coming to my house. Those who don't believe, won't receive! Simple as that. No more talk of him not being real. He may not be who McKenna and Chelsea thought he was, but the love and magic remains in the heart of the one who made that magic happen for them for all these years. And besides, my sweet Jesus told me it was okay. A little magic and a whole lot of praise - I think it is the perfect formula for a great Christmas!

SHHHHH...It's a secret!!

Here is the one big surprise I was able to pull off for my man this year. We have never done a picture with all of his girls, so we snuck off to do this. Within a week or two we found out our precious Gracie has cancer so our very sweet friend Toby came to our house, took some shots of her and cropped her in. And he captured McKenna perfectly!! Aren't my sweet girls pretty? I know I'm biased!!

The watermark is still on these proofs, but you get the idea.

Oh... and it was after we finished this shenanigan that the girls snuck back out to Toby's and had more done!!

I had him change the Scripture on this one to Ruth 1:16

Chelsea hates this one...Silly girl...she looks like a model!