Goodbye, Sweet Boy

I'm feeling a little blue. I found out today that one of the kids that we have sponsored through Compassion International has dropped out of the program. John Mark stopped coming so the folks from CI went and encouraged him to come back. He didn't. When they went back to talk to him, he wouldn't talk to them. From the letters I have received from this little guy over the course of the last three years, he loved attending school and was truly loving his Jesus. What has happened in this little boy's life? I can't imagine, and perhaps my God is keeping me from knowing too much. I know that many children around the world grow up far too soon and far too quickly. And because I don't know, I can't even speculate, and probably shouldn't.
I don't even know what to say. I get to write him one more letter. The workers there in his little village in the Phillipines will make sure he gets it. I'm sure the Lord will give me words, but right now, well, my heart just hurts so I don't know what to say. I do know what I am to do, though. I will continue to pray for this sweet little nine year old boy. And I will continue to love him - this child who has left an indelible mark on my heart - I've often thought of it as John's Mark. And I will trust my God who loves him far more than I do and who knows and sees all things. I am so grateful for a God who is trustworthy - in ALL things. Aren't you?

Eavesdropping...again

I'm sitting in my bedroom listening to my husband in the next room with some of the guys from the youth group. They have been practicing for our first Sunday MORNING youth service. We've always done Sunday night. Our creative movement praise team, For His Glory, will be doing two routines, our kids are leading worship, serving as ushers, praying, and reading scripture. And one of our precious young men, Zack, will be bringing the message. AND one of my favorite funny guys, Corbin, is doing the announcement. This is usually what Jimmy does at the end of the service, so I am thinking we may be about to see a great Saturday Night Live skit based on my husband!! If you read this, please PRAY for Sunday morning's service!

The three guys that are here are playing guitar and singing. I must admit I love to hear my guy sing even if it is with other people and through the closed door. I've always loved to here him sing. And I've always loved to hear him with the kids. I hear him talking now...teaching. Not really meaning to, but he is. 'Cause he is talking...anyone who knows him is probably laughing and thinking, "no kidding?" The boy CAN talk. I will never be one of those women who complain about a husband who doesn't ever communicate. And I'm so glad. I LOVE my guy.

Guitars - a few hundred dollars-
Chips & drinks - a few bucks
Listening to him invest Jesus in some kids - priceless.

What's in a name?

Okay, so I posted a couple of weeks ago about the great loss in our family...our sweet dog Gracie having to be put "to sleep"...I always think of Paul telling us not to be ignorant about those who are asleep...yea, he was referring to death, too.

Anyway, my guy has been looking for a new dog since not long after Gracie went to the big dog house in the sky...or whatever happens to precious rottweilers that think they are lap dogs. Now this has made me wonder what might happen if I ever went to sleep...ya know...like that. I mean he couldn't hardly walk through the backyard without Gracie there. So if it were me, would the kitchen be the tough place? But alas, I digress.

Okay, so he finds several rescue rotts that he is interested in. One is named Ogre...no I am not kidding. The next one he is interested in...Fiona. I mean seriously. Even McKenna made that face where you know she is thinking..."What kind of wierdo..." She even said, "So what's the deal with the whole Shrek themed dog names?" Must admit, I was wondering too.

So Fiona came for a weekend visit. I'm sure we will be keeping her. She is very sweet and submissive, but last night get this. I am sitting on our bed and she can see me from where she is sitting in the living room. She looks in there at me and starts growling. Seriously. And then tonight she wasn't really looking at anything and she starts growling. What in the world? I've decided it is her name. So we're changing it. Actually we decided to change it before the whole growling nuerosis showed up. But Fiona? Seriously, who names a dog Fiona. Not us. Nope, we now have Minnie Pearl. Seriously.

In Memory of a Sweet, Special Girl

This is our Gracie. We found out a few weeks ago that she had cancer and wouldn't be with us much longer. We had to take her to the vet this morning before she began to really suffer.

Jimmy rescued her as a puppy and when he went through his divorce, I believe she rescued him right back. She was the biggest chihuahua ever! She wanted so badly to be a lap dog! As you can see...not happenin'! But she would just lean into you trying to get you to love on her. She was a sweetheart until the very end.



So if you read this, please say a prayer for us, especially my sweet Jimmy. He is having a hard time. We are drawing comfort in knowing that He cares about our hurts and that if He watches over the sparrow, then He surely must our beloved pets.

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God." Luke 12:6 NIV

The words of two comedians seem to resonate...In the infamous words of Bob Hope, "Thanks for the memories," and in the infamous words of George Burns, "Say goodnight, Gracie."

Christmas Lies...we go way beyond secrets!!

Is this picture not adorable? My girls at their silly, funny best!! But there is a story...

The other night I am quite sure I was trapped in a bad Abbott and Costello routine. I had to go to Wichita Falls to do a few errands, and so McKenna stayed with her sister. Good...I could continue the Wii hunt that I have been on. And quite by accident - VICTORY!!! I found one! I sent Chelsea a text and told her so we could both celebrate.

I had also picked up a cobbler to fix for my board meeting the next day, so when I picked McKenna up I said I needed to drop it off at the office. She immediately said, "I'll do it for you." Now I'm not saying my child is not sweet and helpful, but the thought of her wanting to unlock my office and walk into a dark building just didn't make a whole lot of sense. And then, "AHA" - I think to myself..."that little rat knows there is a Wii in the back of this van and she wants to get a look at it!!" So I immediately said that I would do it; that it was sooo cold and windy I didn't want her out in the night air with her cold. So then she asked, "Are you just going to take it straight to the kitchen and come right back out?" Yes, I assure her...then feeling somewhat remorseful for my previous bad thoughts, I added, "Are you afraid to stay out here by yourself?" She tells me she is a little, but that she'll be okay. She then asks for my cell phone...I assume to play games. Then, another "AHA" she wanted me to stay in the office for a second so she can get a glimpse in the back of the van before I come out.

Well...I'll just show her...I pick up the cobbler which I had slid into one of those giant freezer bags that you buy to keep things cold in...and then I picked up the bag with the Wii and hid it behind it then carried them both in. I was feeling pretty smug when I unlocked the door then hooked a right into my office instead of going straight to the kitchen. I drop the Wii just inside my door, then out of habit flip the light on, then head to the kitchen. McKenna in the meantime has seen my office light come on. When I walk back into my office to turn the light off I see four little pictures taped to my computer screen. Oh my goodness! Pictures of my girls! I get a little closer look, but then realize that she would see the light in my office and get suspicious. As I look toward the front door of the building, sure enough, I see her headed for the door. AAAGGGGHHHH!!! I have to get the Wii covered up!!!! So I hurry and go grab the freezer bag and throw that over the Wii. When she gets inside the door she made a comment about me seeing the picture so she was going to go ahead and give me one of my Christmas presents and takes me to my secretary's desk...who apparently had been in cahoots with the girls to give me a surprise...It just wasn't supposed to happen until the next morning....That is the picture posted above. She had been in a panic out in the van calling her sister in near hysterics because I was about to see the surprise. Tooo stinkin' funny, ya'll. Oh, and one other little tidbit...that picture was taken after the girls and I had snuck out to have pictures taken for Jimmy for Christmas. We had to lie then, too. See what I mean...we go way beyond secrets!

Needless to say I ADORE the picture! But between her trying to hide the picture and me trying to hide the Wii...Who's on first!?

Fleeting moments

Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed by God's goodness? I mean like "fall on your face" overwhelmed. To be honest, while it happens for me fairly often, it probably doesn't happen nearly often enough. Not because His goodness isn't always overwhelming, but because I don't seem to notice as often as I should. Anybody else get that?

Let's take today for example. I was sitting at dinner with my family and observing the interaction of my two sweet daughters. And then BAMMMMM!!! - I suddenly was so overwhelmed by the fact that they have been entrusted to me or more specifically to each other. That God would somehow deem me worthy of this kind of joy. Sweet moments of joy that are fleeting at best because they are so tied to that precise moment.

You know the kind. That momentary rush of color at sunset that seems to vanish with the ray of sunlight that it rode into your vision on. That momentary "warm all over" feeling when you watch your man across the room as he laughs his unmistakable laugh and you realize God meant him for you - and he is. That momentary silence before dawn when the nestling under the covers brings a comfort of sleep unmatched by the other five hours you've had.

Sweet joy. One nineteen, finding her wings, but still needing her mom. The other eleven, innocence embodied, also still needing her mom. But the bond between them is not me. No, it is a soul connection designed by God for His glory. I'm just so humbled that He has allowed me to be the witness to it. The observer and the nuturer of it. But the relationship they have will carry them far beyond my watch; prayerfully far beyond my life.

But for that fleeting moment, I glimpsed a bit of heaven. Two smiles in a restaurant full of people that spoke volumes and was meant only for the other. Sweet relationship that will sustain, support, and even remind or reprimand at times. But oh, for the privilege of watching it bloom and blossom. And then the moment was gone. The conversation moved on. Others, me included, entered the moment and moved it past their concentration on each other.

But that moment, that fleeting moment I was overwhelmed by His goodness. Isn't He good?