Sunday, February 22, 2009
On her 20th birthday...
My precious Chelsea is turning 20 in a couple of days. AMAZING. Both because the time has flown and because she simply is...amazing that is. I was beyond thrilled when I found out I was pregnant, and I must say it has been thrilling ever since. Not always easy or joyful, but definitely thrilling! So this entry is really for her - in her honor and to make sure she has all of this written down in some form!
Pregnancy was easy and exciting except for the morning sickness which was actually morning, noon and night nausea, but no throwing up. I've actually probably never felt better than when I was pregnant with Chelsea. Although it was during that time that I found out what heart burn was- I thought I was having some sort of attack, like maybe of the heart. Oh so young and dumb - Y&D syndrome.
When she finally came it took a little over 17 hours for her to make her actual arrival...two weeks early. I'll never forget the moment they laid her on my stomach and in all my vanity, through the tears I said, "Oh, Chelsea, you have hair!!" It has been a dominant topic in our conversations ever since. Along with all things girly. What fun to have a daughter. (Before you think me too shallow with her hair being the first thing noticed, remember that I had seen a sonogram showing all her fingers and toes, so I didn't need to count.)
And how wise of God to give me girls. I don't know what I would have done with a boy. I have had a BLAST being their mom!! As for her 'growing up years', in many ways Chels and I were sort of on our own. Her dad and I were married, but he was gone - a lot- so she and I spent so much time together. She was a beautiful, funny, and bright child. For example...Chelsea was 7 when I finally got pregnant with McKenna. One day she walks in as I'm getting dressed - this is late in the pregancy and I'm wearing one of those oh-so-feminine-NOT maternity bras. She wrinkles up her face and asks, "Why are you wearing THAT?" As I start to explain, she pipes in and fills in the blanks about making milk for the baby, boobies get bigger, yadda, yadda. Then she looks up at me and says, in all seriousness. "But, Mom. Your boobies didn't need to get ANY bigger." Thanks, kid. This would be the same child who when being potty-trained busted into the bathroom as I was getting out of the shower. Sitting on the potty, she looks up at me and says, "Hey, mommy. Your boobies are big. Big as your head." Sweet darlin' child. Ugh. I'm sure it was a perspective thing. She was sitting; I was standing. HAD to be perspective. Oh, whatever. She has learned a little tact since then, but don't ask her if you don't really want to know!!
Teen years were tough, as they are for so many, and even now, at 20, we have our moments. I think one of the primary problems is that when you devote yourself to loving in someone's best interest, it is tough to let them not always love themselves in their own best interest. In other words, letting life and their own choices bounce them around is tough to watch. It's one of the toughest things about being a mom. And although I watch my heart walk around outside of my body everyday in the form of two lovely daughters, I wouldn't take it back for anything. They are so worth it.
So as my oldest leaves the teen years behind, I am blessed to know that I did the best I could to lay a firm foundation...and on most days and in most ways, she is choosing to stand on it. She is fiesty, funny, oh-so fashionable, and above all she is my beloved first born. I can't wait to see what her life holds, and am fully prepared to celebrate it with her and walk the journey with her. It has been evident since her earliest years that God has a plan for her. What fun to watch it unfold and how humbly blessed I am to be her mom. Thank You, Sweet Jesus, for the privilege.