Lately I have been struggling with some things. And I have a confession. The longer I struggle with the issue the more susceptible I am to doubt. I KNOW God loves me and wants what is best for me. I KNOW God is always with me through every battle. I KNOW God forgives me for the messes I create. I KNOW God is willing to help me out of those same messes. I KNOW God is big enough to do whatever it takes to save me from the situation. But when He doesn't do it in the way or timing that I am looking for, I must admit, I begin to question those things. Thankfully, as soon as the doubt comes, I usually am very successful in refuting it, but still the doubts will sneak up sometimes. Anyone else know what I mean?
So last week I was travelling. Flew to San Antonio for a board meeting and a legal conference. Two very good, very productive days. Thursday I arrived at the airport and was so looking forward to coming home. I double checked to see if there were any earlier flights to DFW, and there were, but I still couldn't get from DFW to Wichita Falls any earlier, so I told the nice lady nevermind. I would just stay there and get some work done while I waited the extra hour. San Antonio's airport has free wi-fi and some lovely white rocking chairs to work from, so I figured I would be more comfortable there. And sure enough, I spent the next hour or so doing some work!!
About 15 minutes prior to boarding time, I made my way to the gate. I was in group 6 so would be boarding among the last. I became a little concerned when they abruptly shut the door halfway through boarding. Within a few minutes, they announced that DFW had severe weather coming in and had shut down all incoming and outgoing flights, but that all should be clear in about an hour. I figured if that held true then I would be fine to catch my connecting flight. An hour later, DFW was still closed. Having gone through something similar that would have caused me to have to stay a night in Dallas with no luggage just a few months ago, I called and rented a car at DFW. I knew if I could just get to Dallas I could get home one way or another! We eventually boarded the plane about an hour and a half late. Of course, we were all being assured that because the whole airport was shut down, making our connecting flights would be no problem. More on that later...
NOW to the real point of this post...Once we were in the air, I, in my window seat began reading my magazine, but I caught a glimpse of light out of the corner of my eye. I realized that I was no where near the wing, so I turned my head and...I began to watch the MOST spectacular thing I have EVER seen in my life. We were flying north, and as I looked out the window, I was looking east at that severe weather that had just passed through the Dallas area. It stretched as far to the north and south as I could see. A huge billowing mass of clouds - that was lit up in some form or fashion, literally the WHOLE hour flight. It was almost like watching twinkling lights on a Christmas tree. The lightening would flash deep in the clouds, on the outer edge, with strikes or with a dancing glow. But there was never complete darkness in that expanse. I was completely mesmerized by the show. I glanced down and again was amazed. I saw what appeared to be a blanket of cotton balls beneath us. I've never seen clouds like that...not the huge billowing kind, but the very small puffy type. It looked as if someone was opening a huge bag; it ripped, and all the cotton balls spilled out. I kept watching the light show and would glance down every now and then. I then realized that the sky was bright above the storm. I looked up. Against the deepest midnight blue sky was a huge gibbous moon. Almost perfectly full. Stunning. Beautiful moon, flashing storm, cotton ball blanket. Then the clouds below parted and I saw the lights, the buildings, the traffic of a city. As we began our descent, the tears began their descent. I didn't even care who saw. I thought, "Oh, please, just ask me why I'm crying. I need to tell someone of this incredible God who loves me so dearly." My God who says, "Look at this storm, closer to My perspective than you have ever been, sweet child. Now look below at the coming and goings of man and know this: I know the very number of hairs on every head of those below you. I created that moon, that storm and those clouds, and I created you, My beloved child. I'm big enough, darlin'. I'm big enough."
So when we landed, we had to wait for our turn to get to the gate. As we waited, I called and discovered that my connecting flight had already left. No worries, I explained. I'm sure the lady on the phone was baffled by my cheerful mood. I told her I had a car. After I hung up, I realized I should have told her that the time I had just had with the Most High was worth way more than a missed flight. I hope He inconveniences me again. I want to see Him out the window again.
